6 ways to keep your peace of mind when you get insulted
In everyday life, each of us periodically encounters people who allow themselves to offend their interlocutor. The reasons for such behavior may be elementary bad manners, inability or unwillingness to control oneself, pursuit of some personal goals. It is impossible not to react at all to the insult: with complete impunity, the offender may feel strong and right and go on to open aggression, which will make the situation frankly dangerous.
We will familiarize readers with techniques for responding to an insult while maintaining self-esteem and successfully putting the abuser in his place.
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Back joke
Not everyone can joke in response to an insult. To do this, you need to be confident and very determined. The joke should not contain a retaliatory insult or accusation. It is necessary to make funny not the offender himself, but the words with which he addressed you. A technique is considered very effective when a person exaggerates and brings to the point of absurdity the meaning of an offensive statement for him (for example, in response to an offensive description, he declares that he has learned a lot of interesting things about himself and will definitely turn to the offender again for information). The technique is aimed at confusing the opponent, while simultaneously showing him to others in an unfavorable light.
Acceptance of the situation
If offensive words are spoken by a person who usually treats you well (friend, family member), it makes sense to analyze the essence of the statement, temporarily abstracting from its form. Perhaps they are dictated by your annoying behavior or accidental misunderstandings. You should not break up with a loved one just because of offensive words, especially if they are said for the first time. Try to understand the situation and use the chance to maintain the relationship.
Deciphering the opponent's intentions
People, as a rule, offend each other for a reason. Each such encounter has a reason and purpose, which the offender usually does not seek to advertise. One of the best ways to respond to an insult is to identify your opponent's intentions. Moreover, it is not necessary to specify its goal, it is enough to publicly declare that it exists (for example, to voice the belief that the offender's aggression is based on personal reasons). If the opponent does not object, others will regard this as confirmation of your words (silence is a sign of agreement). Any objection of the offender will be to some extent an attempt to justify himself, which is almost the same as admitting his guilt.
Calmness
The offensive prank is designed to throw you off balance. The opponent is not at all inclined to constructively discuss the situation. Therefore, it is important to remain calm and try to enter into a normal dialogue with the abuser, especially if there are other people around.
The opponent's reaction can be as follows:
- an attempt to continue to contact in a way that is offensive to you. For others (and for himself), he will look like a squabbler, and this is not the best position;
- the desire to evade the conversation, which is tantamount to admitting their own wrong;
- an attempt to explain and justify their behavior.
The third option is not so rare: the modern pace of life is not conducive to balanced behavior, and people often offend each other, not wanting it, just from fatigue and irritation. In this case, the abuser can be given an opportunity to apologize. The situation will be resolved to mutual satisfaction, which will improve the mood of both parties.
Ignoring
If you are good at self-control, you can pretend not to notice the insult. At the same time, it is very important to demonstrate that it is not so much about the words of the interlocutor as about your unwillingness to respond to him personally. Thus, the impression is created that the unworthy behavior of the opponent is connected not with a specific encounter, but with his personal qualities. When used correctly, this is a very powerful way. True, few own it, and you need to use it carefully so that your reaction does not look openly offensive.
Appealing to the law
People who have a habit of offending others usually have little understanding of the legal side of this case. In reality, humiliation of honor and dignity, offensive antics and swearing are offenses, and the punishment for them is spelled out in the laws. An impudent offender can always be intimidated by the fact that you will record his words with the intention of going to court. Most likely, this will make him calm down, at least temporarily, and reduce the intensity of the conflict.
It is impossible to respond with an offense to an offense. Firstly, it is an indicator of weakness, and secondly, the reaction of the "fool - the fool himself" type has not made anyone right yet. It does not follow from this that you need to endure grievances in silence. This type of reaction can only be afforded by very confident people. And it's not just that a stressful situation has a detrimental effect on mood. Offensive words tend to linger in memory, depriving a person of peace and lowering his self-esteem, which is fraught with unpleasant consequences for the psychological state and even for physical health. The realization that the opponent received a decent answer (polite but firm), on the contrary, increases self-confidence and serves as a psychological defense against life's adversities.
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Maria Kulkes Medical journalist About the author
Education: First Moscow State Medical University named after I. M. Sechenov, specialty "General Medicine".
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