Family relations crisis
The desire of two people to start a family does not always indicate their readiness for such a responsible step. The first period of life together always seems ideal, but gradually disagreements begin to arise between the spouses. This leads to a crisis in family relations, which is associated with fairly objective reasons. The newlyweds have not yet developed common views on many things. “Experienced” spouses also often face relationship problems. Indeed, over time, people themselves and their ideas about life values change.
Family Psychology: Crises
Almost every couple living together for some time, at certain stages of life, is faced with a crisis of family relations. This is quite natural, because the so-called "social unit" is a kind of maturing organism. He has the same life periods as any individual: newborn, infancy, childhood, adolescence, maturity. The transition from one period to another is always accompanied by problems that affect not only the person himself, but also his loved ones.
In this regard, in the psychology of family relations, crises are, oddly enough, an indicator of the progressive development of married life. They indicate that the couple has reached a certain transitional point, after which the next period begins or the relationship ends. The preservation of the family at this rather difficult moment depends, first of all, on the spouses themselves, on how ready they are for mutual understanding.
The crisis in family relationships should not be considered something that happens only once and does not repeat itself. Both in the life of an individual and in the life of a family, events with rather critical consequences do not happen so rarely. On average, each couple can face about five so-called transitional states, which lead to one or another crisis of family relations. The problems that arise have a certain attachment to the experience of cohabitation of the spouses.
Family relations crisis by years
Difficulties in understanding between spouses are characteristic of certain transitional moments in life together. According to psychologists, crises of family relations are distributed over the years as follows:
- First wedding anniversary. The reason for the disagreement is commonplace - people take off their rose-colored glasses and see their other half in natural light. There is a certain reassessment of the relationship, as a result of which the couple begins to learn to find compromises or diverges;
- Three years of marriage. The once exalted feelings of the spouses gradually begin to dull, and the appearance of a child and caring for him contributes to the separation of the wife from her husband;
- Seven years since the wedding. The main reason for the crisis in family relations in this period is their monotony and predictability. The child grows up, which gives the woman the opportunity to break out of four walls and take up a career. As a rule, at this stage there is a real risk of infidelity, more often - on the part of a man;
- Fifteen years of married life. Once young lovers, man and woman become quite mature people by this time. The crisis of family relations, coinciding by years with the achievement of the so-called middle age by the spouses or one of them, arises as a result of a reassessment of life values;
- Twenty years after the wedding. Despite such a long period of cohabitation, this period is quite critical. With the departure of matured children, spouses often have a feeling of "unnecessary" to each other.
How to overcome a crisis of family relationships
Family is what every person needs, because loneliness has never made anyone happy. If a man and a woman once made a joint decision to live together, they should be ready not only for the pleasant moments of this coexistence, but also for recurring difficulties.
To maintain their feelings, it is very important for spouses to learn how to overcome the crisis of family relations. Problems arise at certain times in life and have different causes. For their successful solution, it is necessary to understand what caused certain difficulties in the relationship. This allows each of the spouses to adequately respond to the criticism of the partner. However, despite the current "gender equality", there is a significant difference between the roles they play in life together.
Starting a family is, to a greater extent, a man's prerogative. It is he who plays the leading role in this process, because a representative of the strong half of humanity, as a rule, is the first to choose his future partner and make her an offer. After the start of life together, the roles change dramatically. To save the family and understand how to overcome the crisis of family relations is largely within the power of a woman. She can not only keep a man, but also push him away from herself.
Of course, in order to painlessly go through all life's difficulties, the efforts of both partners are required. First of all, you need to learn to listen and hear each other - this will allow you to understand the essence of the claims of each of the parties. It is equally important to be able to reach a certain compromise, because only mutual concessions will help find a way out of the crisis of family relations. Maintaining feelings is impossible without bringing some fresh notes into them, so it is important to avoid monotony in all types of joint relationships.
Family life requires mutual understanding and respect for their soul mate from spouses. The initial passion gradually gives way to a deeper attachment based on love, tenderness, and care. If all this is there, the couple is not afraid of any crises of family relations. A woman, as a nature, is more flexible than a man, in the event of such problems, can play a major role in solving them.
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